Special Friendships
By Pat Chicoine
As
we start the downhill slide of another very mild South Dakota winter I would
like to share a story from a recent ice fishing trip out on Lake Poinsett
in east central SD.
Some of you will remember a story I wrote last September about a life long friend of mine that had lost his second son in four years. It is the kind of pain that no one ever hopes to have to cope with once in their lives, let alone twice. This is the article from the September issue followed up with a brief paragraph about the present. I hope you enjoy it.
Hunting and fishing seasons are all about hope and anticipation. We all anxiously wait for each season to arrive and for many months prior to any opening day we dream about what each new season will bring. That is part of the wonderment of the outdoors. I recently was made very aware of how much the outdoors can bring families together and give them hope. I have a very good friend, actually one of my best friends from my home town of Elk Point that I grew up with. We attended school together from 1st grade to 12th. Over the years we went our seperate ways in life but always have remained very close friends. We have one of those very special friendships where you might not see each other for 6 months at a time but still feel that comfortable relaxed feeling and easy conversation whenever we are able to get together. Nine times out of ten this usually involves ice fishing.
My friend has been coming up to my neck of the woods with his sons ice fishing at our area lakes up here in NE SD for several years. With his work schedule and mine this is the best time of the year for us to get together and enjoy each others company. About four years ago my friends youngest son, who was 10 years old at the time was killed in an accident. I cannot even begin to explain how devistated this wonderful family was by this tragedy. It was hard for everyone close to them to deal with and understand. All of us had lost someone very special. As hard as this was on everyone, one of my friends sons who at the time was only about 12 or 13 years old had a very, very hard time coping with the loss of his brother.
Having four children of my own I absolutely had no idea how
anyone could deal with such a terrible thing. I eventually was able to understand
how this family was able to get thru this heart breaking loss. It was by
faith, hope and their connection to the outdoors. Their faith in God kept
them going forward and pulled them thru some very dark times. Being able
to get away on weekends to go ice fishing together was a huge part of their
healing process. Slowly but surley this family began the long process of
mending their broken hearts. The weekends of
ice fishing the father, sons, uncle, and cousins had always looked forward
to became more important than ever. They lived for these weekend getaways.
Even though the mother did not hunt or fish, she understood how important this was to her husband and sons to be able to have this connection and was an unselfish enough person to let them have this time together. What a wonderful & strong woman she is. It took a few years but eventually there were even old fishing stories about the lost son being told out in the ice shacks. These were always told with a lot of laughter and maybe even a tear. But they were good stories and always made anyone who was along feel better just being able to listen to them.
I was able to understand how having such a great bond with
God and the
outdoors could help this family cope with such a loss of a loved one. Two
weeks ago my Dad called me to let me know that this same wonderful friend
of mine had lost another son in a construction accident. This time it was
one of his older, married sons who had three little children of his own.
It seems that a person doesn't ever have to look very far to find someone
who has it worse than themselves does it? I do not know why these kind of
things happen to such good people. There is a reason for everything but
sometimes it seems that whatever the reason is it beyond our grasp. I will
promise you that calling up my old friend that evening was one of the hardest
things I have ever had to do.
After the memorial service and luncheon when the church had began to clear out as we sat around making small talk that ice fishing came up. I could see a little bit of hope in the eyes of my dear friend and his two sons that I was trying to help comfort. I cannot even begin to imagine what this family is going through and I pray that I never have to find out. I do know what a wonderful strong family they are and that their faith in God and their connection with the outdoors is going to help them get past this and get on with life again.
It will not happen over night, but it will happen. We have
already been talking about doing some waterfowl hunting this fall. What
better way than to be able to sit out in a duck boat or blind together and
enjoy the comfort of each others company? This is how strong, magical, and
healing the outdoor world of hunting and fishing can be. I think we are
all blessed to live in a country where we are able to have such great freedom.
Hunting and fishing can give all of us the chance to escape from our everyday
troubles, big or small. -In loving memory of Terry and Chris. In this Septepember
story I made a point that when winter came my old friend Danny and his son
Casey would be back up here spending time on the weekends with our crew
doing some serious ice fishing and hopefully
mending of some broken hearts.
It is pretty amazing to me how the fellow ship of a bunch
of old friends
getting together for a day of ice fishing can make everyone's troubles
go away for a while.
True to his nature my pal Danny was as upbeat and positive as ever. Between he and his son, Casey, there was a regular ice fishing clinic being held on that particular Saturday. Father and son were catching about four fish to everyone of ours. It was great to see Danny and Casey laughing and just enjoying everyone's company.
There is a lot to be said for how Mother Nature has away of helping heal things. Of course we all know that God is behind the whole scheme of things and never gives us more than we can endure although at times we are tested.
If a picture is worth a thousand words, then I would say
the photo we’ve
run with this story speaks for itself.
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